The mindset that's keeping you down
And what to do instead
life lately
We all hear a lot about mindset all the time.
It’s the #1 thing virtually any self-help book tackles (albeit from slightly different angles).
Every successful person ever has their take on what is the ‘right’ mindset that made them successful.
Well, I can tell you a mindset that for sure doesn’t work.
I realized recently that so many times when I have tough moments with the kids, I fall into blaming them for my bad day.
It was their fault I lost my patience. It was their fault because Monica has decided that she only wants to wear my shoes and has a complete meltdown every time I try to make her wear her own little sandals.
Or I blame my grumpiness on Henry, who woke up three times throughout the night before. Or I blame my stress on Stephen, who had to work extra this week so I had less help.
Do you see the theme here?
It’s called a ‘victim mentality.’ And it is widely pervasive in today’s culture.
We all want to blame our lack of good fortune or bad habits on someone else. Sometimes it’s our family, sometimes it’s our boss, sometimes it’s social media.
I’m not here to say that it’s no one else’s fault but your own that you are where you are. We all are affected by circumstances and those around us. However, placing the blame on others (whether justified or not) doesn’t help.
It just keeps us where we are.
If I blame Monica for losing my patience, or I blame Henry for my exhaustion, or Stephen for my stress…I stay in a state of powerlessness.
Since they got me here, I am powerless to get myself out.
You see how this might bring about some satisfaction, but won’t improve our situation in the slightest.
Rather: if we take responsibility for our actions, we take responsibility for our solutions.
If I say instead: Monica really hates wearing her own shoes so I need to brace myself for a battle every time we go out OR hide all my shoes from her OR find some other possible solution. Maybe none of them work, but the point is to focus on how to fix the problem rather than focusing on all the bad feelings it’s causing.
If Henry prevents me from getting a full night’s sleep, I need to find ways to make the next day easier for myself instead of brooding over how tired I am.
As a mom, I know good leadership is a non-negotiable. Being a good leader means taking 100% responsibility for my life—especially the hard parts! Because it is only then that I can start to problem solve and actually progress.
inspo
I am LOVING this book by Megan Basham called, Beside Every Successful Man: A Woman’s Guide to Having it All. It’s all about how wives can help their husbands advance and succeed in their careers. It is solid gold advice that I think every wife—whether SAHM or CEO—should read.
pretty things
OK here is a list of house things that I have purchased recently/are on my wish list.
Curtains for the kids’ rooms: I got these in off white linen for Monica’s room and flax linen for Henry’s room. I love them (esp after going over them with my steamer).
Curtains for the guest room. I am obsessed with toile. I want it everywhere, lol. But seriously how perfect are these curtains?? I can’t wait to put them up in our guest room here soon.
Tablecloth: this is an inexpensive linen tablecloth I got in white (easy to bleach) that elevates our dining room without being too formal for every day. We always grew up with table linens and I just think it’s a nice detail to add to family dinners.
Chandelier: I really want to replace the chandelier in our dining room but in the meantime, I got this one for our breakfast nook and I am SO excited! We are getting an English pub table for the space from my brother and I just think it is going to look so perfect under this sweet chandelier.
Here’s to making things happen.
In camaraderie,
Miranda Kate.